The world has become more tolerant and progressive in many ways. For example, support of same-sex marriage used to be a minority opinion in the United States, but it has grown by leaps and bounds and is accepted by a majority of people today. That’s huge. But same-sex couples still face a lot of stigma, especially when they become parents.
Daniel, a boy studying at the Deerfield Elementary School in Cedar Hills, Utah, had an unpleasant encounter with a homophobic substitute teacher back when he was a fifth grader.
ABC News reported how the offensive incident took place in a classroom a week before the 2019 Thanksgiving. The substitute teacher had asked the fifth graders to share what they were thankful for and the students started answering one by one.
“I’m thankful that I’m finally going to be adopted by my two dads,” Daniel answered when his turn came, reported The Salt Lake Tribune.
That was when the substitute teacher snapped at him and questioned, “Why on earth would you be happy about that?” The teacher elaborated on her views, saying that “two men living together is a sin” and “wrong.” She additionally reportedly told Daniel that there was nothing that he should be thankful for.
Then three classmates stepped up
At that point, Daniel’s classmates came to his defense and three of the girls asked the substitute teacher to stop. When the teacher continued rambling, the three students walked out of the classroom to inform the principal.
Soon after, the substitute teacher had to be escorted out of the school. The authorities then reached out to one of Daniel’s fathers, Louis van Amstel, to inform him of the incident.
“She also tried to blame our son and told him that it was his fault that she went off,” van Amstel, who is a professional dancer on Dancing With the Stars revealed in an Instagram video.
“We are committed to having the best employees who care about all children in our schools, whether it be the teacher, the custodian, the secretary or a substitute teacher. When situations come up like this, we quickly investigate and take appropriate action. That was done in this situation,” the Alpine School District’s spokesman, David Stephenson, said. He applauded the three girls who supported Daniel.
“[Daniel] was so fearful that this could make us think that we don’t want to adopt him,” van Amstel said, trying to hold back his tears in his video. “That’s definitely not going to happen. But this situation really hurt him. This person really hurt us.”
The community rallied around them
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Van Amstel’s neighbors and the community came forward in solidarity after the incident made headlines. They even decorated the couple’s house with paper hearts that had sweet messages written on them. A month after the incident, Daniel was adopted by van Amstel and his then-husband Josh Lancaster — they are divorced now. The substitute teacher who had obtained the job through staffing company Kelly Services, was ultimately fired.
In 2024, van Amstel created a video on the YouTube channel, The LVA Podcast, detailing Daniel’s adoption journey.
People online had plenty to say
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People in the comment section of his Instagram video also came forward to voice their support and remarked how the teacher was straight-up disrespectful.
“I read your son’s story about the sub. So, disheartening to have an adult treat a child like that. You have such a beautiful family and the love shows. Raising children is such a privilege,” one fan said.
“What a beautiful message and family. Thank you for being strong and bringing others joy during this difficult time,” another added,
“I just saw the video of you and your husband and son. Your son is so freaking awesome. How he stood up for all of you to the sub. Love his attitude in the interview. I love how his friends stood up to the teacher too. So happy she got fired. She doesn’t need to be a sub if she is talking to kids that way,” someone said.
Sadly, many people took the opportunity in van Amstel’s comments to further disparage his “lifestyle choice,” which only served to shine a greater spotlight on the stigma faced by gay couples even in a more progressive America.
A majority of gay dads report having faced stigma, even in settings that should be supportive: neighbors, doctors, churches.
We need more kids like the girls who stood up for Daniel to help snuff out intolerance, and more attention on their stories so that everyone gets the message.
This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.
